file under: "letters I wish i could address, put in a mailbox and have arrive to be read over a cup of coffee while van morrison plays in the background." ...in an alternate universe, i'd be able to send this and get a reply.
dear nj,
i keep meaning to thank you for floating the simon & garfunkel central park cd to the top of a random pile of cds i grabbed for a longer than normal car ride. a supernatural nudge is the only explanation i have for why it was in my car's cd player after more than a decade's absence when kodak announced the end of kodachrome in june. in a moment of synchronicity that may well turn out to be one of the most serendipitous linchpins i've ever expereinced, kodachrome was actually playing just before i switched from cd to radio to catch some npr. and heard the news. and started daydreaming about long ago days at a summercamp not far from here. thanks to facebook, i actually found some long-losts from those days gone by. and for whatever reason, was moved to ping them this time (typically i'll locate, but chicken out when push comes to clicking send). you'd approve that the musical boy with the heart of gold and I have renewed our acquaintance. you'd wink at me when i paused then, and ask "and then some?" "i sink so" i'd mock, not capturing a fraction of the spot on danglish accent you can employ at will.
in other news, I know you'll shake your head at me, but i was canceled on again today. the old gang is bbqing on saturday. The fickle one had rsvpd, but called to say something else ("better" would be my word, though not his) had come up. I know this comes as no more a surprise than any of the other times he's let me down. I've known your opinion (yet after the whole clauster frak, i will never ever, no, not ever let him know what i know) forever, yet still try to give the benefit of the doubt. i know, i know, when will i ever learn, right? actually, i think i have. otherwsie i have no explanation for why it didn't even surprise or bother me. mostly, i'm thinking that as i'm the communicator, i'm going to have to gear up for a potentially awkward conversation. the alternative would be letting the friendship fade like photo left in the sun too long. We both know that isn't who i am. So since I know there was more in the halting conversational silences than could be explained by the topics covered, it's pretty much up to me to start talking the talk. hollywood seems to think he's nursing an unspoken crush. I don't agree. I think he just needs to know that someone new for me doesn't mean he's my yesterday's newspaper. I am not a pie whose slices need to be measured to see who is most important to me. ok, fine. maybe i am. if so, i'm deciding i'm clementine-lime pie with a nice pecan graham cracker crust.
Yes, I have the recipe. Yes, I'll make it before I stop over for our next eftermiddagskaffe.
hej så længe, makker...
